by Louis Hessey-Antell. Find Louis on Instagram here.
**Please note, Louis received gifted products in return for coverage on Breaks and Bites**
We arrived, post-pints, at Royal Victoria Park for the Bath Foodies Festival. Underneath a canopy of rain and trees, buzzing for what was destined to be a day to remember, Helen and I chatted about which stall to approach first, and whether it was worth staying around for Blue (or worse yet, Scouting for Girls). I kid. Lovely guys, I’m sure.
First up, the drinks. Not all imbibed during the semi-rural tour of 2025’s Bath Foodies Festival, I’ll have you know. Alas, a few plastic Madris were our welcoming libations as we sped around the various stalls, aiming to escape pre-Blue. Who’d have thunk it? The mighty Blue, gracing the stage of a humble West Country supplier showcase. Not for me, perhaps, but God bless those who did make it through to the end.
Before long, we introduced ourselves to David from Rosemullion Distillery. Friendly fella.. A four-pack gift set of 70cl gins was popped inside a bag, and we were away! Harvest Gin, a Dry, Christmas Spirit, and the samphire-infused Seafarers to be specific. We tried each one before these choices were confirmed by the gin man, and popped inside a wonderfully photogenic gift box.
The order of events now began to shuffle itself like a gastronomic pack of rain/beer-soaked cards. So that brings me straight to Waz’s Sauce Hut; release the explosive Kraken Fury was the order of the day, it seems. That, and the slightly sweeter, bourbon-laced Gentleman’s Choice, happened to chime best with Helen and I’s palettes. Generic Doritos danced around in every single option, I assure you, so these decisions were not made in haste. The Gentleman’s was destined to perk up some chunky pork loins we had defrosting back at home. Again, another friendly face selling a quality product.
Let’s keep things spicy. The samples were laid out thusly: hot-to-hotter with lots of fruity variations in between. And what am I talking about here? Banhoek Chilli Oil. Cheese or breadsticks (our choice, to paraphrase the great Marco Pierre-White) were the flavour vessels here. Helen couldn’t slip a cigarette paper between the Scoville Scale metre reading of the extremities; a potent oil, designed to enhance leftover pizza-crusts I imagine, and its very slightly angrier cousin. Made in Stellenbosch, South Africa, by heat-loving Stellenboschians, I couldn’t help but channel our good friend (the Durban-born Pru Short) and opt for the Extra Hot; it seemed like a good idea at the time, and I still stand by it. That’ll be the difference on their early Boxing Day Chilli Con Carne this year, hopefully.
Craig Brook-Hewitt of Mother’s Ruin Distillery was our next new friend. Alas, the authority to bestow free gifts to blagging bloggers was beyond his jurisdiction, but the quality of the gin was not in question, so an honourable mention is in order. I will also grant similar prizes to Ripe Cheeses, and Niji Knives. No freebies here either (unless you count the sharpener that was thrown in gratis after I splashed out on an artisan Japanese cleaver, and a lovely discount on a cheese selection that would make Wallace and Gromit envious) but no worry; I had won a bottle of 2013 Lanson Champagne the day before in a raffle supporting Aardman’s Grand Appeal, so these would be very apt additions to our luxurious larder upon returning to Bristol.
While Helen located Shelley and Sarah (who were eagerly awaiting Simon, Duncan, Lee and Antony- possibly in that order) I located a lighter and clocked eyes on the Thermomix stand. Rebecca and Laura were in charge, so I locked their names in my memory, took a number, and called the former later to semi-pitch my Omni-Scale idea (a scale that weighs and heats at the same time). The concept has since been shut down by one of my cleverer friends (Dr Steve Pain), but it was nice to put it past the best food-tech company in the business for once. Maybe there’s still hope, or maybe Dr Steve has a point. One can wait!
I’ll mention the end of the day next, as it involved a little philanthropy from my beloved Helen. She very generously chose to sign up to Macmillan Cancer Trust and sponsor the canine equivalent of Disney’s Lilo’s animated companion: Stitch. Meanwhile, I grabbed myself a complimentary bag of Proppadoms (Jalapeno, to be precise) to enjoy as a late-night snack. Another jewel in this wonderful event’s crown.
Perhaps the meatiest, in both meanings of the word, get was from Limpopo Biltong.. The supplies of the more esoteric choices were dwindling, or perhaps simply too valuable to give away, so before too long I was rejoining Helen with two hefty bags of their Original and Chilli Chutney respectively. This sub-Saharan brother of beef jerky would serve as a perfect, post-adventure late-night snack once this whole day fully settled in the more creative part of my mind. Another UK-based South African import gracing the centre of the majestic Royal Victoria Park.
Further luxury came in the form of a transparent spice-shaker full of truffle-dust. Truffleguys’ signature Truffle Dust to be precise. I promptly planned to use this on some sous vide, roasted new potatoes, that would accompany the Gentlemen’s Choice pork loins I mentioned earlier. A lucky boy indeed!
As I write this, I still haven’t finished the little dram of 3-Year-Old Straight Bourbon we received, along with some rich, smooth, and classic Amaretto from Mallow’s Family Distillery. Firewater is the correct word to use here. The three adjectives I used a second ago could also apply to this beautifully brown liquid. We haven’t sampled the Amaretto yet, but perhaps a home-made tiramisu is in order. Perhaps Marsala wine would have been a more suitable acquisition; however, beggars can’t be choosers.
Riverford Farms provided a free cookbook, promising another Autumn/Winter version should we take them up on the offer of a regular organic vegetable box. We’ve tried this before, from Reg the Veg in Clifton, but maybe it’s time to try the guys at Riverford properly. Cheaper, I’m sure.
Perhaps one false note was present on this very grand piano of a day. Maybe it’s a matter of personal taste thing, or perhaps not; I’ll let the market decide. WTF wines were the final conquest of the afternoon. Four cans of fizzy, grape-inspired elixirs of various descriptions survived the minor train ride back. Helen found hers a little harsh, and after sampling my selection last night, I am unfortunately inclined to agree. Perhaps this is one wanting a break from a chilled white or warming red. A cross between a spritzer and something a little more bitter would be my chosen description.
‘Wine That’s Fruit’ is their USP, but all wine is fruit. Perhaps we’re both missing something here. Two more cans left, though, so we live in hope! So as we crawled back to the entrance/exit, waddling through marshy ground, dodging All Rise melodies as the raindrops fell, it was time to savour our experiences and open up the word processor. Tonnes to write about, taste, trial, and experiment with all these culinary and intoxicating gains.
Not counting the cheese, chutneys, or the knife, we worked out the value of our pillaged booty from the Bath Foodies Festival was north of £150. Generosity was certainly the word of the day. Heaven holds a place for those who pray, to quote Paul Simon, and I hope the universe will reward these producers and suppliers similarly. Next year, the PUB IN THE PARK beckons. We look forward to seeing you! I hope you enjoyed reading this, and I can’t wait to write more about further upcoming food festivals as soon as possible. We sincerely wish everyone who had the pleasure of this wholesome, gastronomic, and boozy escapade the best of luck in their lives. You made the right choice. It was great.